Cash for Planning Permission? Avast and ahoy there! A pirates life for us!

shivver m'timbers, planners ahoy!

So cash in return for planning permission is finally near!?   We here at Three Magnets say thank you!  Now us lazy council jobsworths/nonjobs can really mug the residents and businesses of this great land.

We'll charge you for pre-app advice then give you the wrong advice on purpose or by 'accident', take your pick...  After that we have another pre-app meeting (you're paying obviously) and see where it leads.

Now the best bit, during the pre-app advice is that we'll 'mention' (ahem) that we need some new traffic lights or money for some poor people, or why even lie just say it's for our pocket money?!

After you receive your permission we'll make you walk the plank in to the ocean full of building control sharks...

Who is our much feared captain I hear you cry? Captain Pickles