Friday, 6 May 2011

You can run....

Diplomats, world leaders and Sun readers squabble over the reasons and justification of the assassination of America's No 1 Enemy earlier in the week.

That OBL's compound escaped the (un) prying eyes of the some of Pakistan's finest military and intelligence personnel was perhaps unfortunate. The world has, until now, been led to believe that US Navy SEALS undertook the recent operation. As US military forces generally are unable to hit a cows arse with a banjo, dropping an elite group of its forces onto the doorstep of Pakistans Military Academy caused Ezer to dig for the truth.

A mere five days later, it emerges.

As regular readers will know the tentacles of this blog reach far and wide. The truth behind the raid only came to light after Ezer plied one of his snouts - a member of NAPE - with Stout and Barley Wine. NAPE ( a loose network of Planning Zealots charged with sharing data and best practice to secure its long stated jihad against planning wrongs and infidels) have been consulting with government during the course of the Localism Bill to ensure that planning enforcement provisions are robust and fit for purpose. Evidently it leaves no stone unturned in its quest for justice and to ensure that even the most minor breaches of control be dealt with with the full force of the law.

The Sec of State is known as the "the Cap'n". The term SEAL refers to a newly recruited crack team of the most driven Enforcement Officers in the land. Members of Severe Enforcement Authorised by Localism are brainwashed to exclude reason, offer utter dedication to the cause driven by promises of 72 Planning Contravention Notices. They are charged and fully authorised by Cap'n Pickles to test new ways of ensuring your land remains green and pleasant over the bank holiday.

Perhaps we have also inadvertently answered why the Duke of Cambridge returned to pilot duties so soon after his wedding?.

You have been warned.

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